What makes you feel beautiful?

beautiful

Beautiful. Sexy. Gorgeous. Spunky

Words I strive to have in my daily vocabulary at the moment. Words I know are me, but at times feel strained. Forced. Something that I have to remind myself of, as the actual feeling in my body (and my wardrobe!) doesn’t always reflect them.

My body is changing again. Again! Round three of stretching, growing, changing, forming has began in earnest this week, and the corresponding acceptance of all the changes is also well underway.

The rollercoaster of feeling like a glowing Mama-to-be, the true picture of Mother Earth in all its intended glory one minute, then just plain enormous the next. The fascination, even the third time round, at my growing belly, and the astonishment at the growing breasts (seriously – did they get this big the other times??)

It’s beautiful. My body is doing exactly what it should be doing. If only I could find some clothes that reflected that!

My problem is I had off-loaded all my pregnancy clothes. I thought I was done with the stretchy skirts and the tops you could discreetly pop a boob out of, and had actually gotten to the stage where I was pretty damn happy with my wardrobe. I’d found my real sense of ‘me’ – I had a ‘look’ (or so I like to think), and I had a system that worked.

Sadly for my belly (and decision-making), most of that ‘look’ involved tight-waisted items.

And so, the exploration of what makes me really FEEL beautiful begins again.

Pregnancy and post-baby bodies can be a real shake up to our sense of self. Despite our best intentions, we all know that our identities are closely aligned to how we feel about our appearance. That’s just the truth of the matter. So as we accept that our bodies are different than what they used to be, so too do we have to accept that certain parts of our ‘look’ is changing too.

This is not about vanity. This is about feeling good about the changes that are going on right now. And the changes that will keep going on for me for atleast 18 months to come. There will be days when my expanding belly will fill me with wonder, and there will be days when the post-baby saggy belly will fill me with dread.

But I will not accept that this time round. I will not allow myself to get obsessed with the right clothes or the right look. I do not want to rush out and buy a whole new wardrobe again just to fit some ridiculous ideal of what I think I should be wearing, or how many different outfits I can appear in. Not this time.

This time, I want to focus on what makes me feel beautiful. Sexy. Gorgeous. Glowing. What makes me love my body and this time in my life. Love me. And that all comes down to figuring out what it is that makes me feel better than anything else.

For me – it’s accessories. Jewellery, hairstyle, shoes, a little eyeshadow. A handbag. A boho necklace. A statement ring. Nail-polish. Even when I am feeling bloated and hormonal, a really bright, gorgeous necklace and some colour on my toenails seriously makes me feel better. More feminine. More me.

(And thank goodness for the budget, these things are do-able!)

So I may be in the same black maternity dress for the next 6 months – I am coming to terms with that. What I know for sure is that by experimenting with the things that I know work for me, I can embrace what is happening to my body, and focus on feeling good.

Because it is all about what makes us feel beautiful. Shifting the focus from what we don’t have or what we can’t change right now, and letting go of the wish that we all had a Nina Proudman-style maternity wardrobe, and instead finding a way to nourish our inner-beauty. That goddess. That sexy Mama!!

Even in the same black dress everyday.

Do you know what makes you feel beautiful?

Much love, beautiful Mamas.

x

Inspiring Mum: Natalie Procter

NatProcterToday’s Inspiring Mum is a kindred spirit.

Her work, her passion and her approach to Mama wellbeing is so align with the Seek, Act, Love message, she could have written it herself! Instead, I’ve asked her to share her thoughts on nourishing herself while raising her three little ones in this week’s post. She is truly inspiring in what she is doing for other Mamas, but also how she is balancing her own health, passion and dreams with that of her family.

Because, after all, we really CAN do it all!

Proof in point – Meet Natalie Procter from ‘Chilled Out Mama‘ -

“I am a mother of three children, Max (6), Lily (4) and Holly (2).  Becoming a mother has inspired me to learn how I can be the best I can be.

I want to be the best mother I can be to these three little people and raise them to be kind, happy and confident with great self-esteem.  Children learn what they see so I want them to see these same qualities in me.

I am passionate about promoting mothers’ self-care and to reminding mothers to treat themselves to regular ‘me’ time and so Chilled Out Mama was created.  ‘Chilled Out Mama’ runs events for mums to relax, unwind and hang out with other mums whilst listening to inspirational speakers.

Motherhood has some amazing rewards but it can be a tough gig so I have created these events to remind us all that the best way to be a good mum is to take care of yourself – find the time to relax, follow your passion, have fun and not sweat the small stuff.

Because when mama is happy, everyone is happy :) ”

Gorgeous kindred spirit, isn’t she? For even more inspiration, click on her answers to the 4 Inspiring Mum questions below, and make sure you clickity click over to the Chilled Out Mama website.

x

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Just breathe!

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Do you sometimes look at the mess in front of you and feel totally, completely and utterly overwhelmed with where to start?

You literally just stand there, stunned, like a deer in the headlights, wondering how the hell you are going to do it all?

Oh yes. Me too.

I often feel like that two minutes after my girls go to bed. I come downstairs with a big sigh, another day of mothering complete. And then I walk into the kitchen. Ah! Can’t I just grab a glass of wine (or tea now!) and fall onto the couch to watch The Voice? But no, the job of mothering is not yet complete, and somehow I have to find the energy to do just that little bit more.

It’s the same when the little ones have their sleep during the day. Or even getting ready for a new baby.

It all piles up in front of you and suddenly it is huge. A mountain of tasks and decisions and action that is required of you RIGHT NOW.

No wonder all we want is wine and Ricky!

But before we reach for the Sauv Blanc and the remote, there is something we can do that breaks through that feeling of overwhelm. Something that helps us see which things need to be done first, which things don’t need to be done at all, and which things we shouldn’t even care about. And – wait for it! – even makes us enjoy whatever we have to do!

A huge, deep breath.

I know, it doesn’t sound like a massive revelation, but trust me – this is something I have been consciously embracing in my life ever since I found out I was expecting another bubba and it has CHANGED EVERYTHING.

In fact, I am so into my deep breathing while going about my tasks at home that I think my children must think I can’t breathe properly anymore!

This is what I’ve discovered: taking a big deep breathe while cleaning up makes the mess seem smaller. Focusing on my shoulders relaxing and making myself smile a little as I breath out makes me actually feel happy. Breathing shifts my focus from the ‘for god’s sake I am so freaking sick of cleaning this stuff up and when am I ever going to get more sleep!’ to ‘everything is ok. I am ok. I know this will pass and I love my life.’

I think about something other than the task at hand, and actually enjoy it! And seriously, it goes so much quicker! Just last night, thanks to my serious deep breathes as I went around the house, I found myself 20 minutes later marveling at how great my house looked!

I did it all, and I actually used the time to make myself feel good.

You can do the same when you are stuck in traffic and fretting that you won’t get to the appointment in time. You can do it when you suddenly feel like you’ll never get through something. You can try it whenever you feel overwhelmed.

Just a big, deep breath. And again.

Love it.

Much love and inspiration to you. And when it does get too much, just think about how amazing you are to juggle all those balls in the air and congratulate yourself – as you take that big deep breath.

X

Mama Fuel: Baby Power Shake

pregnancy_greensI never intended this website to include recipes!

In fact, I was kinda anti the whole nutrition blog thing. There are hundreds of blogs and websites – amazing, insightful and inspiring ones – that Mums can use to get their green juice recipes and their chia seed baking tips.

But then, I started needing some inspiration of my own.

I realised that a BIG part of pregnancy, birth and the first two years of baby is about how we Mamas feel – feel about ourselves, feel about our children, feel about our bodies. And if we are tired, stretched to the limit, and rushed, then we generally feel like shite.

We need the fuel to keep us going. Especially when we are running on empty after a night of no sleep or a day of not sitting down.

So, Mama Fuel was born.

Mama Fuel is going to be a weekly post – every Tuesday to be precise! – with a really simple, easy, you-can-even-try-it-today tip on how to refuel your body, your mind, your spirit. Yes, it may include recipes, but it will NOT include diet tips, nutrition guilt, or pressure to go out and source some off organic grown ingredient found only in the cave of some Himalayan bear. I promise.

Instead, it will be a short, sharp and shiny idea from a number of fantastic nutritionists, health coaches and women’s health experts on vitamins, herbs, food, drinks, and whatever else we can put in our bodies.

I hope that, with me, you will start to feel less overwhelmed by all the nutrition advice out there and the pressure to get it right all the time, and more inspired to try something quick and easy to get you back on track.

And so, without further ado, here is the first Mama Fuel!… (drum roll please!)

Barbara Karafokas is a qualified nutritionist, and a health, nutrition and wellness consultant. She inspires women to celebrate and love life by creating healthier eating and lifestyle habits and attitudes for life. She is also the author of “A Natural Approach to Pregnancy”. And she has kindly shared with us today her number one fuel tip – The Baby Power Shake.

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Sunday Promise: all in divine timing

divine timingIt seems everyone around me is feeling the frustrations of time at the moment.

Waiting, wishing, longing.

One is counting down the days until the birth of her baby, another is holding her breath until that 12 week scan when she can finally believe she will become a mother. One friend is finding she never has enough time in her day to pursue her real passion and is contemplating giving it all up, while another is finding the minutes of everyday stretching so slowly she wonders if she’ll ever feel like she has her life back again.

And me? I’m feeling a bit of all of it! My little baby in my belly is 16 weeks tomorrow, which feels surprisingly quick, yet I am very conscious of the long stretch of time before I hold my little one in my arms. I feel rushed everyday to fit everything, and yet I feel like life is not moving fast enough towards my goals. Fast and slow. Wishing for more time, longing for less.

That’s motherhood really, isn’t it?

Watching a very good friend go through the first tumultuous weeks of pregnancy at the moment is such a powerful reminder of what motherhood is all about.

For the first time in our lives, our future is taken out of our hands. We can no longer just change what we don’t like in our lives, but have to put our fate in the hands of something bigger than us. We have to just let our bodies do what they were created to do… and wait. Hope. Believe. Trust. Not such an easy thang for a modern-day chic who’s used to getting what they want in life. Now.

And it doesn’t change, does it?

That waiting, hoping, trusting continues until the day we die – or so I imagine. We wait for the 12 week scan, then the birth, then for them to finally sleep through the night, then to reach all those important milestones. Then we hope they are OK at school, with their friends, with peer pressure and the big wide world. We trust we have done a good enough job to instill confidence, self-respect and empathy in them, and trust that the world will clear their path so they can live their dreams.

When it all comes down to it, wait, hope and trust is all we can as Mums.

But boy that’s not easy!

And so, as we begin another week of uncertainty that is being a Mama, I am going to put my trust into the Universe’s timing. I’m going to stop wishing for more, or for less. Stop hoping that there’s more hours in the day, or that my dreams would hurry up and come true. Because everything is happening exactly when it should.

That will be my affirmation for the week: Everything is happening in divine timing. I trust the universe’s timing.

We can not make the 24 hours in a day go any faster or slower, and we can’t wish things to hurry up or slow down. It is what it is. And it is happening at the right time.

I trust the universe’s timing.

Have a wonderful week gorgeous Mamas and Mamas-to-be. Sending lots of hope, trust, and faith your way.

x

Tuning out…

instyleDo you ever just sit in silence?

No TV, no radio, no children talking, no baby crying?

And not just silence in terms of a lack of noise – silence for your other senses too. Dim lights. Warm room. Comfortable chair. Something easy and comforting to cast your eyes over. Something nourishing to sip on and feel trickle through your body.

Motherhood can be an assault on the senses. Every fibre of your being is attune to the sounds, smells, and actions around you. The noise alone can create a physical reaction at times! We crave silence – just for a moment – to allow our bodies to stop. Release. Breathe.

Pregnancy is the same. We are so busy running around, trying to get on with our lives, working, juggling, managing… that we often only stop and listen to our growing baby inside us at our weekly yoga class.

Instead, we just keep going.

Until we fall in a heap at the end of the day, turn on the TV, and ‘switch off’.

Sure, ‘The Voice’ can still be a part of our self-love routine, but sometimes – just sometimes – we need to consciously tune out. We need to actually help our overloaded senses and our super-stretched body to step down from its heightened state of stress. The never ending fight or flight.

I needed that last night.

After a day at home nursing two sick little ones and my own head cold, my nerves were literally buzzing. I felt like a little electric current of exhaustion was running through me, and my mind was on speed. Even when the girls were finally asleep (and before they woke again from coughing), I couldn’t sit down. Must clean up, must fold that washing, must send that email. Must, must, must.

It was simply my adrenalin pushing me to do more.

Once I realised I was behaving a little like a crazy woman, I decided I had to stop. Tune out. Switch off. Before I ran myself into crazy, sick and emotional.

I boiled the kettle. I dimmed the lights. I made a cup of Ayurvedic tea, lit a candle, grabbed my new Instyle Mag which had just arrived this week but I hadn’t even glanced at, and snuggled into my couch. Not bed – no way. I’d never make it past the first page! And I knew that before I passed out, I needed to tune out. Otherwise I’d wake tomorrow just as frazzled, with that adrenalin still pumping through me, ready to fight the next fire.

The house was totally quiet. I was warm, safe, lost in the world of pretty clothes and beautiful homes. I didn’t have to think, analyse, learn or judge. There was absolutely nothing else going on in my world at that moment, except tuning out.

Silence. On all levels.

It was bliss.

So often, we fall into bed at the end of an exhausting day, not allowing ourselves to actually wind down. We go, at a ridiculous pace (mostly because we have to!), and then we crash. Or we just numb ourselves with the TV, and then we crash.

But by taking a moment, every now and then, to actually create a space where your WHOLE body and mind has a chance to switch off from the world – it literally feels like unplugging yourself from the electricity around you – you thoroughly nourish yourself.

And you are ready for whatever the world throws at you the next day.

Come what may.

x

 

Inspiring Mum: Krystal Barter

K B and daughterNo matter what we think of the woman, most of us have been fascinated with the story of Angelina Jolie’s double mastectomy this week.

I know I found myself reading every word, marveling at not only the fact that she decided to have both her breasts removed, but also at the bravery of deciding to tell us all about it. In the world of Hollywood where breast implants are as common as sunscreen, she really could have got away with keeping this to herself.

But by sharing her story, she hopes that women around the world will also empower themselves to learn more about their own genetic health.

Something which is very close to this week’s Inspiring Mum‘s heart.

In an amazing coincidence, gorgeous Sydney Mama Krystal Barter finds herself sharing the limelight with Ms Jolie this week. In the past 48 hours, she has done more radio and TV interviews than a Hollywood starlet, and has put herself – and her own personal story – out there for the world to see. And she’s done it all with such spunk!

You see, Krystal has exactly the same gene as Angelina. Her great grandma was 68 when she died from breast cancer, her nan at 44 was diagnosed and her mum Julie was just 36. And so, like Ms Jolie, Krystal decided to take her future into her own hands and had a double mastectomy.

At just 25 years old.

How freaking amazing is that? I can’t even contemplate making such a decision at the same age.

It’s impossible to sum up how amazing Krystal’s story is (and I urge you to read more about it here). Not only did she make this truly brave decision at such a young age, but she also started an organisation called Pink Hope to help other women who are also facing a similar decision.

Oh – and she’s also a Mum of 3!

I have had the absolute pleasure of speaking with Krystal over the past 2 days as the media-storm swirled around her, and let me tell you – you can’t get a more Inspiring Mum. This is a woman who is navigating – on a daily basis – her health, her dreams, and her family.

And I’m thrilled she took a moment to answer Seek, Act, Love’s 4 Inspiring Mum questions.

Enjoy!

x

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Sunday Promise: love being a Mum

mothers day

My handmade gifts this morning!

Sometimes, I find myself breathless at the phenomenal blessing that is motherhood.

I stop, in the moment, and look down at my two little girls, and feel another little one inside my belly, and am overwhelmed with love. Right at that moment, I realise this is what life is about. Right now, this love, this laughter, this family I am creating. I feel real, tangible bliss.

I had such a moment this morning. On Mother’s Day.

We were in the kitchen – our favourite place to dance it seems. The digital radio was tuned to the Mix 80s channel because it is Mother’s Day and my husband had no say over the music selection. It was just me, my 5 yr old, my 3 yr, and my baby in my belly. And Phil Collins.

I acknowledge that he may not be everyone’s idea of the soundtrack to a significant moment in your life. I get that. But for me, Phil is the music to my childhood.

I remember dancing around the loungeroom to Phil’s ‘Genesis’ album for hours and hours with my Mum and little sister. My Dad was away for work or on late shift again, and it was just us girls. And Phil. And god I was so happy. My Mum was smiling, I was dancing, we were all singing.

Fast forward 30 years, and here I am. Doing exactly the same with my girls. Another generation on, and the same music is connecting the women of my family, creating memories that flood your body with goosebumps everytime the same song comes back on the radio.

So there we were this morning. Phil’s ‘In The Air Tonight’ comes on the radio, and I quickly call my little ones in. I show them how to hold their pretend drum sticks, and we wait for the big drum solo. And as Phil belts out that classic part of the song, so do the three Kabbaz chics (plus bub in the belly, I imagine!).

And the tears filled my eyes.

This is what being a Mum is all about. Moments of connection that are so deep and unique that it seeps into your soul and stays there forever. Moments when you look down at your little mini-me children doing exactly what you did all those years ago with your Mum and sister, and you realise that your dream has just come true.

This makes it ALL worth while.

Those moments when you feel totally over it, like you are stretched so far you could actually shatter into a millions pieces? It’s worth it. Those moments when you cry and cry at the sheer size of the role that is before you? Worth it. That broken sleep, those saggy boobs, that lack of sex-life, that sheer exhaustion from not having a moment to yourself? Worth it.

I simply love being a Mum.

I love being a Mum.

So when the glow of this morning’s Phil Collins moment fades tomorrow as I try not to loose my temper at bedtime, I am going to repeat this to myself – I love being a Mum. Love it.

As I ask my 5 year old to put her shoes on for the seventh time, I am going to repeat it. As I beg my 3 year old to please get in the bath, I am going to repeat it. As I push my body to keep going, despite how tired I feel, I will repeat it.

This is my Sunday Promise for the week.

Much love to all of you amazing Mamas today. No matter what we go through, and however hard it gets, we are doing an amazing job… and we love it.

x

Inspiring Mum: Katie Manitsas

katieSome of you may remember I spent a weekend at a yoga teacher training course to teach prenatal yoga a few months back.

It was a dream come true.

Ever since my own inspiring prenatal yoga teacher back in Adelaide – the gorgeous Caroline – took me under her wing and guided me through two pregnancies, births, subsequent healing, and breastfeeding problems (including visiting me at home and calling to just check on me), I wanted to pay it forward.

This course was just such a gift. And that was mostly because of the course convenor and director of Jivamukti Yoga in Newtown, Katie Manitsas. Katie is also the author of ‘The Yoga of Birth’ - a book which is now firmly placed on my bedside table.

Katie is everything you’d hope a prenatal yoga teacher would be. Inspiring, informative, supportive but very clear on what she believes is the best for women both in prenatal yoga and childbirth. In fact, her concern about the current state of birthing in Australia strongly echoes my own, and I found myself nodding along feverishly as she spoke about empowering Mums.

She is, indeed, an Inspiring Mum. And I am thrilled that she has agreed to answer Seek, Act, Love’s 4 Inspiring Mum questions this week.

Her honesty about the amount of time you really have to focus on yourself and continue with practices that you loved before you became a Mum is so refreshing. As is her honesty. I know you’ll love it.

Here’s to be inspired.

x

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Mama’s afternoon off

just beI know – the title of this post made you laugh a little, didn’t it?

Well, maybe not laugh like you do when you see your little one trying to put on their own pyjama pants (I have so many videos waiting for Funniest Home Videos on that one!), but laugh in that cynical, bitter kind of way.

Ha.

Mama’s afternoon off? What’s that? It’s certainly not something we know much about, is it? Even when we have a morning off like this coming Mother’s Day, we are still ‘on.’ Yep, we know all about that.

What I mean by ‘day off’ though, is a day off from the pressure on yourself. The day off from achieving something beyond just being a great Mama. The day off from expectations girlfriend – that’s what we need.

I say this because it has occurred to me that I seem to get in a funk every Tuesday. About lunch time to be precise. I wake my usual positive self, feeling great about how things how turning out in my life, and ready to make even more magic. I make my way through the morning at work, pretty much the same as every other day. I then come home and cook myself some delicious lunch (usually something warm – this baby is making me feel cold all the time and all I crave is something warm and comforting), and then I sit down to enjoy my 20 minutes to myself before I launch into my afternoon of writing and projects before school pick up.

But I can’t get off the couch.

Something seems to happen on a Tuesday. My energy and enthusiasm drains away while I eat, and suddenly I feel really, really tired. Doesn’t happen any other day. Just Tuesdays.

So what’s going on? Why do I struggle so much to bounce back on a particular day of the week, and spend the rest of the day battling that little voice in my head that tells me I should be doing something else.

And then it occurred to me today. It’s the ‘s’ word: should.

Our lives are full of shoulds. We should exercise, we should be eating better. Our baby should be sleeping through the night, our toddler should be speaking by now.

We should ourselves into the ground!

And what was happening to me was that my weekends were filled with so many shoulds for the family (fantastic, fun, often wonderful shoulds, but still shoulds nonetheless) and my Mondays are jam-packed with the shoulds of the first day back at work and writing, that come Tuesday afternoon – I’M OVER IT!

My body has had it. My mind has had it. I just need a little time to sit down and catch my breath, god damn it! No shoulds about it.

The biggest wake up call about my Tuesday revelation today was at first I was just going to force myself to get up and do the washing, sweep the floor and send those emails – because that’s what I should do. But then I stopped and asked myself – what is really going on here?

What is it that I really need right now? And then I asked myself again. What is it that I really need right now?

We don’t ask ourselves that very often, do we? We probably feel like we can’t – because, let’s be honest, the answer may well be something we can’t do right now. But if you keep asking yourself – push past the anger or resentment that automatically screams “I just need a freaking break!” – and go deeper, and kinder, and ask yourself again, you’ll find a simple answer that you can give yourself right now. I promise.

So, what is it YOU need right now? Be kind, take a breath, and stop before you answer. Wait a second. Then try again…

What is it you REALLY need? Right now? For you?

When I let the shoulds stop, and listened, I heard it loud and clear – “rest.”

I just needed to stop for a minute. And because I’d asked myself instead of just assuming what I needed, or pushing past it and getting on with my day anyway, I could allow myself to rest. Without guilt.

And guess what? Now, I’m back at my computer, writing refreshed and happier. The floor did get cleaned, and the washing is in the machine. I actually still got everything I needed to do done, and it actually took me less time than I thought. Because I looked after me first.

And that really is the only should we should have in our lives. Asking ourselves what we really need first.

Much love,

x