No matter who you are, no matter how you come into this journey, you never come out the other side the same.
It might be stating the obvious, but what I really mean here – and what I know you Beautiful Mamas know – is I mean real change. Not just what you do everyday, or how you dress, or how your breasts now look, but I mean core, soul stuff.
It’s the awakening of us.
And that’s the stuff that gets me all goose-bumpy.
Today’s Inspiring Mama is very goose-bump worthy. This is a woman I admire greatly – someone who has turned her life from her own battles with self-care into a truly humbling existence being a wonderful mother to three and working with other women to love themselves and their lives. She’s a bit of an inspiration to me, and I know she will be to you.
Meet Kirri White. Kirri is a proud mamma of three glowing girls living in Brisbane with her talented chef husband. She is also a certified life coach who helps women reclaim their lives and celebrate their worth. A HUGE advocate of self care, self-knowledge and self-love; she enjoys combining science-based practices with the wisdom of the heart.
Kirri White reminds us that there is NOTHING better than to love ourselves, put our health and our wellness first, and that it really is do-able Mamas! It really is.
In fact, I love her message so much, that I have decided to become an affiliate of her new program (with my other gorgeous friend Corona Brady) which begins in October. So, if Kirri’s words really speak to you, make sure you sign up through my page by just clicking here or on the link on the side.
In the meantime, be inspired Mamas!
The most important thing I do on a daily basis is to check in with myself regularly. This can be as simple as bringing a form of presence to my breathing and letting a sense of calm fill my body. Or, it can be observing that I am beginning to feel irritable and asking myself ‘what is it that I need right now?”.
Sometimes it’s a drink of water or a few minutes of stillness. Whatever it is, I try to honour my need – either right then or by making a mental note and agreeing to attend to it later.
This kind of simple self-nurturing not only feels good but it helps me maintain my composure when I’m feeling depleted or my kids are reaaaallly testing my patience!
* How do you deal with the guilt all Mums feel about spending time on themselves?
I rarely feel guilty for spending time on myself. When I’m fuelling my passions and honouring my needs, I am much more capable of being the mum that I aspire to be.
I want to add that this is not the way I approached parenting in the first two years. I was very much in survival mode, allowing my perfectionistic tendencies to reign and squashing my intuition in favour of text-book rules.
With the onset of reactive depression and anxiety, I learnt that prioritising self-care is a must.
My self-care mantra – “when we take exceptional care of ourselves, we are much more capable of taking exceptional care of others.”
* What have you learnt about yourself since becoming a Mum?
Gosh. Where do I start…there are so many things I have learnt and continue to learn since becoming a mum! My kids are far more adept teachers than I am.
- For a start, I am more focused and organised. Even though I sometimes miss the days of being able to ‘lounge’ endlessly and go out whenever I want – I have learnt how make the most out of my time, more than I ever did pre-kids.
- I’ve been reminded of the importance of creativity and play. Whether it’s dancing, doodling, talking in made up voices, roller-skating, designing barbie clothes out of foil and coloured paper; my three girls keep me connected to that place of child like wonder. Every time I am willing to surrender to their silliness, I have fun and feel more inclined to suck the beauty and joy out of every moment.
- My understanding of core values and priorities is razor sharp. I know who I am and I like who I am. I also know what I dislike and what I am no longer willing to tolerate. Sure, I am in tune with a lot of these ideas because of my work, but children have a way of magnifying the basics of what truly matters.
- Mummyhood has also reminded me that I am not only capable of great, immeasureable love but that I am completely loveable. Flaws and all. This is, most possibly, my greatest lesson to date.
* And what’s your one piece of advice to a Mum who is feeling overwhelmed and lost?
I recall feeling so incredibly lost and alone as a first time mum – not once or twice, but countless times in the first 12 months.
Even with an incredibly supportive partner, sisters, and a brilliant mamma’s group, I sometimes believed that I was the only mum struggling with the enormity of it all.
So my one piece of advice would be to have at least one vulnerability buddy – someone that you feel completely comfortable offloading to. It might be your partner or a close friend, but it doesn’t have to be.
The one person that I was able to confide in was the local public health nurse. She was a wise and compassionate older woman who listened intently, empathised and never judged. She was such an incredible blessing to me. A real oasis of support.
So if you do feel overwhelmed and isolated – keep talking to people and seeking out support.
You are not alone. You are never alone.
No matter how rough your day has been – remind yourself that you are doing your best and that there is a sisterhood of mammas sharing a similar experience with you, all over the planet.
Celebrate every success and give yourself a high-five!