Sometimes, when the Universe throws us a few curve balls, we have to realise it’s a big, fat sign to stop.
Stop trying to be all to everyone. Stop trying to do everything today. Stop cleaning, stop worrying, stop organising. I remember being told that the Universe will send you clear warnings and messages to slow down and listen to your body and your intuition. And if you don’t hear it the first time, the messages will just keep getting louder and louder.
Didn’t stop after that terrible flu last year? Well, here’s a bout of gastro that will keep the whole family at home for a week.
Still didn’t stop? Well, here’s a car accident to show you to slow down.
Still didn’t get it? Well, here’s a disease… and so on.
And right now, I feel like I’ve been shown a big, clear message lit up in flashing neon lights. STOP TRYING TO DO EVERYTHING. Look after yourself. Look after your family. And figure out what your priorities really are, instead of making everything a priority.
At my workshop on the weekend, the director of Jivamukti Sydney and author of ‘The Yoga of Birth’, Katie Manitsas, told us that she congratulates herself each year “for being less ambitious.”
That really struck me.
It is such a massive learning curve for me, to allow myself to just stop. Not be so ambitious today. Not tick all those things off my list. Even to just let the house be a mess for a day. I think, without exaggeration, it is my biggest life lesson at the moment. The one that I battle with everyday.
So even when my daughter has been so, so ill these past few days, I had to really stop myself from worrying about all the other things I had told myself I would do this week. It was like an addiction I had to detox from. Don’t check emails. Don’t worry you haven’t posted. Don’t stress about editing that video. Don’t imagine what people will think if you don’t send the newsletter. It was a battle, but one that I’d like to think I won. Just a little.
I remember the absolute bliss of newborn world, when nothing else in the world mattered. When the world could have exploded outside, or we could have had a bloody coup on the streets of my city, and I wouldn’t have known. And I wouldn’t have cared. My whole existence was feeding, sleeping and staring at my baby. Oh how that is one of my most treasured moments in life.
But before long, we come crashing back to earth with a thud and a long-list of things we ‘must’ do. Life gets in the way. We start to feel we need to do more each day to be successful – a training we have all received since birth in our culture, especially our generation of woman. Go, go, go.
When Greta was sick this week though, I had a glimpse of that newborn feeling again. I managed to feel – even if for a brief window – that nothing else in the world mattered. I was a mother, nurturing my baby. That. Was. Enough. And I can tell you, it felt AMAZING. My shoulders were relaxed, my mind clearer. I was present, and I felt like I was doing exactly what I am meant to be doing.
So thanks Universe. I think I got it this time. I see now that I’ve been cramming in too much, trying to be all to everyone, and not being present at all. I get that these past few days have been a gorgeous reminder of what my real priorities are – my family, my health, love, happiness. And I got how absolutely amazing that felt.
No need to send the car accident, I promise. I’m off to cuddle my little girl in my very messy lounge-room.